Saturday, July 02, 2005

Fucking with assholes is fun!

Ahhhh... I love to fuck with a-hole drivers. OMG! It is awesome!!!

Especially when they are driving a fancy new expensive import. ;)

OK so just now I'm driving over to my parent's house. I stop at a stoplight with me in the front row and a noisy pickup next to me. A shiny new Volvo S60 pulls up behind me. The pickup floors it off the light. He has NO exhaust. I mean INSANELY loud. I figure screw it and let him speed ahead. I got up to 45 in a normal amount of time with the pickup just ahead of me in the other lane. (BTW, it's 35 here, so I'm still going pretty quick.) I look in my rear view and see the Volvo right on my ass. No sooner do I look up that he guns it and jumps into the next lane to try and pass me. What do I do? LOL! Floor it and box him in behind the pickup of course! Sucker! I kept him boxed in for a half mile or so until the pickup had to turn. When the pickup slowed down to turn, the Volvo jumped back on my ass. Inches off my ass. What do I do? Tap my brakes! ROTFLMAO!!! I hear the a-holes tires chirp as he locks them up. Bwahahahaha!! He then proceeds to floor it and cut around me. I give him a nice miss america wave as he sped by. HOL-E-CRAP does that piss off a-holes. When he cut in front of me, I sped up to keep pace. Now here's where it gets fun...

My car is worth all of $500 and it looks like it. What makes my car special is that it's a sleeper. I have an insanely good imported BAT suspension and Brembro brake rotors with Mintex high performance pads. I can take corners and stop like you wouldn't believe. This guy doesn't realize what he has done. {{insert evil laugh}}

So now with the guy in front of me he jacks his brakes. LOL! I can stop in half the time that his heavy luxury sedan can. I tap my brakes with no squeal at all and then speed back up. I throw up my arms like, "That's all you got!" The guy proceeds to flip me off. LOL! What he doesn't realize is that we are coming up on a red light QUICK. He hits his brakes and we both come to a stop at the light with me practically touching his rear bumper. The light turns green and he sits there. Like I'm actually going to go around him. Fuck no! We sit there for a good twenty seconds until I yell out my window, "I got all the time in the world buddy!" By this time the guy is furious. He flips me off again and drives off. All with me inches off his bumper. I follow him around for a mile or so until I need to turn to go to my parent's house. As soon as I go to turn he goes shooting into the opposite turn lane and speed off. LOL!

I hope I scared that prick real good.

To all of the a-hole drivers out there. Don't fuck with people! You'll get somebody like me that will fuck with you back THEN follow you home.

LOL! Friggin idiot!

That really made my day. ;)

7 Comments:

Blogger BobbleheadHillbilly said...

That fuckin' rocks! I love fuckin' with asshole drivers.I know the joys of having the rusty but trusty beaters. My favorite for idiots riding my ass is just to let off the gas enough to give them a glimmer of hope of passing me, but not enough to ever get by. And when they get on my ass at stop lights i just let it out of gear and watch their faces as I casually let my truck roll backwards. What makes it even more kick ass is the fact that my bumper sits at their eye level. Ah, the joys of fucking with the general public!

1:55 AM  
Blogger Lone Ranger said...

I can see a shooting incident in your future.

2:54 AM  
Blogger Sassy said...

Oh Lord Have Mercy!!! Be careful out there. People are violent! Sheesh!!

10:51 AM  
Blogger Dave Himself said...

A guy got a little to close to you and you harassed him for it. I think maybe You are the asshole driver.

And I am pretty sure you would have sped away when I got out of my car at that light and came walking over to drag you out of your window.

The lone ranger is right. Your gunshot wound is not far off.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Howard said...

This is one old man who has surprises for those who follow me home!!

11:40 AM  
Blogger annie said...

the guy in the volvo?

that's me most of the time, since i tend to have places to go and hate being stuck behind pickup trucks that smell like crap, and your probably slow and very stinky ass.

the guy in the volvo was probably gagging on the smell of your burning oil.

grow up and learn to drive like an adult, please.

11:45 AM  
Blogger BP said...

This is why I hate blogger. F'n morons.

lone ranger, the chances of someone actually hitting me with a pistol while in a moving vehicle are slim to none. Plus, real bullet holes in my car would look very cool.

Sassy, don't worry. People who drive obscenely expensive cars like assholes are always spineless pricks. If they aren't, I have a 5D Maglite to fix that.

Dave, HE WAS AN ASSHOLE!!! I understand a little close. Tailgating and cutting someone off is being an asshole.

Annie, learn how to fucking read my ENTIRE post. I wasn't driving the pickup. My car is in PERFECT running order. It doesn't drip any fluids and I perform all of the scheduled maintenance myself.


Don't shit on me in my blog unless you want the same treatment.

6:05 PM  

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