Repeat with me...

I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.

I have been kicking myself ever since Friday night. I went out drinking with my roommate. We started at about 7:30. I was drinking tall Leinie Red's. They were going down very easy. We left the first bar and went over to our usual hangout. I was blown away. There were hotties everywhere. We wanted to shoot some pool and all of the tables were full. We headed over to the other bar (it's split but in the same building). Again we are greeted with an incredible amount of smoking hot women. It's just really weird. We can go to this bar a half-dozen times and it will be completely dead. Some nights it's just friggin rockin'.

Tonight was one of those nights. No fucking country music. No rednecks, no mexicans to scare off the ladies. Anywho, back to the story...

So we find a table and start shooting pool. I continue drinking pints of of Leinie's Red. I'm all over the place. I would make 4 awesome shots and then completely blow the game. Well, while I'm shooting I notice these two hotties sitting at a table. Cute blonde and very cute brunette. By themselves. Nice. I keep shooting while glancing over every once in a while. I notice the brunette looking, getting caught, and looking away. All with a little smirk.

Let me say this right now. This shit doesn't happen to me. EVER. I mean this babe is a 10.5 in my book. Great body. Perfect height. Incredible sexy long straight dark brown hair. I mean... friggin awesome.

I get distracted and start kicking ass at pool. I look up and she's disappeared in a group of people that came in.

FUCK!

I looked around and didn't see her anywhere. I got kinda bummed and went back to playing pool and drinking. Got bored of pool and went to the bar. Kept drinking and got into a heated debate about how much ass Green Day sucks. (At this point my roomate's sister and boyfriend have joined.) This evolved into how rock music progressed from country/blues/bluegrass. All the while, I'm still slamming beer. My rate of consumption has a tendency to jump when both a) sitting at the bar and b)arguing about something. They call last call.

By this time I've probably had 12 pints of Leinie's Red. I'm running on autopilot. Guess who shows up? Yep, the brunette hottie. She comes up to the bar, kinda rubs up against me. ...this is where things get REALLY blurry... I remember saying some dumb chit-chatty stuff but nothing major. My roommate kinda kicked me. I figured that in my drunken ramblings, I must have said something dumb. I excused my self and went to the bathroom. By the time I got back to the bar, it was cleared out. I was still REALLY drunk and didn't think much of it.

Untill I woke up.

I've been kicking myself ever since. I woke up Saturday morning and went right to my parent's to go out-of-town for the weekend. I just got back a couple hours ago. I ask my roomate... Do you think I had a chance with that hot brunette? My roommate said, "Hell yeah! She was laughing and smiling and everything. I was kicking you to try and get you to get her number."

I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.
I'm a fucking retard.