Friggin' torture
I've gotta get this off my back too...
Friends don't let friends hear them fucking.
OK, so my roommate tells me yesterday that his friend LZ is coming up from Chitown to visit for the weekend. That's fine. She does it all the time. (She mostly comes up to "visit" her EX for some fuck buddy action.) I thought no big deal. We'll have a decent time, go to the bars, and LZ and her EX will go back to his place to take care of business. Whatever. Not this time...
LZ got up here late. My roommate and I met her at a restaurant planning on going to the bar right after. BUT LZ calls her EX and tells him to meet us. He takes for fucking ever!!! By this time there's less than 2 hours 'til bar close. We decide to go to her EX's place to have a few beers for a light evening and just go out on the town for some real drinking tomorrow. We go over there, play some cards, drink some skunky beer, and then throw in the Family Guy movie. By this time LZ and her EX decide to call it a night and "go to sleep". No biggie. I finish my beer and my roommate and I decide to leave. BUT...this is where the shit hits the fan...
My roommate can't find his car keys. We rip the friggin apartment apart. We were both getting pissed. We are both big guys and only had a few beers a piece over a three hour time period. Barely a buzz. We think that either LZ or her EX has hidden his keys to prevent us from leaving. My roommate busts open the bedroom door and asks LX and the EX where his keys are. They both deny everything. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!! Not we are stuck in his piece of crap apartment.
If you want to piss me off, force me to do something that I don't want to. I am fuming mad lying on LZ's EX's piece-of crap couch. (My roomate slept on the floor.) I think of hot wiring my roommate's car...nah...he has a car alarm that I wouldn't be able to defeat. I think of walking...nah...it's a good 20 miles home. I think about calling a cab...nope...light on cash and the only phone is locked in my roomate's car. I even thought about calling my Mom and having her pick us up. How sad is that!?! A 29 year old guy having his Mom pick him up. I just couldn't do it. I eventually fall to sleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night. To what? You guessed it, the sound of fucking. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I don't want to hear them going at it!!! Here I am, contorted, lying on a piece of shit couch, alone, trying to get a little sleep. And they are having a grand-ol-time Fornicating Under Concent of the King in the next room. A side note...
I am an overweight geek with very low self esteem. I suck at small talk. I don't drive a flashy car. I haven't gotten a girl's phone number in almost a year. A bad wood shop teacher could count the number of "real" dates that I've been on in my lifetime on one hand. Sooo... If I'm not getting any, I sure as hell don't want to hear anyone else that I know getting some!!!
I plug my ears and end up falling back asleep. About two hours later I wake up to the blinding sun in my face. I notice that my roommate is awake too. He then tells me that he thinks he may have dropped his keys outside. WHAT!!! You've gotta be kidding me! He then says that he was out smoking with LZ earlier that night they decided to play catch and throw around a football that he had in his car. We both proceed to go out and look for his keys.
I found them 10 steps outside the apartments building in the grass...in less than 30 seconds.
I almost wanted to punch my roommate but all I really wanted to do was get home to my own comfy bed.
What a craptastic evening.
Friends don't let friends hear them fucking.
OK, so my roommate tells me yesterday that his friend LZ is coming up from Chitown to visit for the weekend. That's fine. She does it all the time. (She mostly comes up to "visit" her EX for some fuck buddy action.) I thought no big deal. We'll have a decent time, go to the bars, and LZ and her EX will go back to his place to take care of business. Whatever. Not this time...
LZ got up here late. My roommate and I met her at a restaurant planning on going to the bar right after. BUT LZ calls her EX and tells him to meet us. He takes for fucking ever!!! By this time there's less than 2 hours 'til bar close. We decide to go to her EX's place to have a few beers for a light evening and just go out on the town for some real drinking tomorrow. We go over there, play some cards, drink some skunky beer, and then throw in the Family Guy movie. By this time LZ and her EX decide to call it a night and "go to sleep". No biggie. I finish my beer and my roommate and I decide to leave. BUT...this is where the shit hits the fan...
My roommate can't find his car keys. We rip the friggin apartment apart. We were both getting pissed. We are both big guys and only had a few beers a piece over a three hour time period. Barely a buzz. We think that either LZ or her EX has hidden his keys to prevent us from leaving. My roommate busts open the bedroom door and asks LX and the EX where his keys are. They both deny everything. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!! Not we are stuck in his piece of crap apartment.
If you want to piss me off, force me to do something that I don't want to. I am fuming mad lying on LZ's EX's piece-of crap couch. (My roomate slept on the floor.) I think of hot wiring my roommate's car...nah...he has a car alarm that I wouldn't be able to defeat. I think of walking...nah...it's a good 20 miles home. I think about calling a cab...nope...light on cash and the only phone is locked in my roomate's car. I even thought about calling my Mom and having her pick us up. How sad is that!?! A 29 year old guy having his Mom pick him up. I just couldn't do it. I eventually fall to sleep.
I wake up in the middle of the night. To what? You guessed it, the sound of fucking. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I don't want to hear them going at it!!! Here I am, contorted, lying on a piece of shit couch, alone, trying to get a little sleep. And they are having a grand-ol-time Fornicating Under Concent of the King in the next room. A side note...
I am an overweight geek with very low self esteem. I suck at small talk. I don't drive a flashy car. I haven't gotten a girl's phone number in almost a year. A bad wood shop teacher could count the number of "real" dates that I've been on in my lifetime on one hand. Sooo... If I'm not getting any, I sure as hell don't want to hear anyone else that I know getting some!!!
I plug my ears and end up falling back asleep. About two hours later I wake up to the blinding sun in my face. I notice that my roommate is awake too. He then tells me that he thinks he may have dropped his keys outside. WHAT!!! You've gotta be kidding me! He then says that he was out smoking with LZ earlier that night they decided to play catch and throw around a football that he had in his car. We both proceed to go out and look for his keys.
I found them 10 steps outside the apartments building in the grass...in less than 30 seconds.
I almost wanted to punch my roommate but all I really wanted to do was get home to my own comfy bed.
What a craptastic evening.
posted by BP at 5/21/2006 01:10:00 AM
2 Comments:
I do think the green on black is much more exciting... good choice... loved the dos comment, reminds me of being in the 7th grade playing (what was that game) "ski slope!?!" in the library... lmao...
Ok, so the recap of your funtastic evening made me smile, and with the shitty mood I'm in I needed it, so although I'm sorry you had to endure that, you realize without it, I may not have laughed yet today...
too bad about the vacation ending... :(
I glad I could make you laugh MG. Sorry to hear about the shitty mood.
Listen to some angry music. LOUD. My preferred release.
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